


The Least Badass Thing Garrus Vakarian Has Ever Done Is Go Into Shock

by Lunarflare14



Series: Empty Galaxies [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Aftermath, F/M, Other, Paragon Commander Shepard, Pre-Relationship, Shock, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 10:26:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunarflare14/pseuds/Lunarflare14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Garrus does not take the news that Lana Shepard is dead very well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Least Badass Thing Garrus Vakarian Has Ever Done Is Go Into Shock

Garrus entered C-Sec for his shift about a month after the geth attack on the Citadel. It was still in bad shape but he was confident they would have the place at full capacity before the year was out. He had really only come back to the Citadel for a little while. He and Shepard were still geth hunting together more often than not, but he had loose ends to tie up. Quitting would be easier but a part of him was still attached to the establishment.

He hadn’t made it more than a few feet in when Executer Pallin flagged him down. “My office.”

His superior’s expression was tired- probably a late night monitoring repairs. “Sir?”

His boss didn’t acknowledge the question in his voice. Instead he kept walking as Garrus followed. Only when the door to the office was closed did he speak. “I have news. It’s from the Normandy.”

Garrus straightened, excitement rushing him unexpectedly. The Normandy meant Shepard. When the Executor hesitated before going on, it began to sink in what he was about to be told.

“What happened? Are they alright?” Was she alright?

“The Normandy was destroyed by an unknown vessel. The report from the pilot says the stealth systems were engaged. They couldn’t retaliate fast enough. Most of the crew escaped but… Shepard is dead.”

Garrus stared at the Executor, unable to process what he had just said. He had just seen her two weeks ago, when their shore leave was over. They had been joking about a shooting competition. She still owed him a drink.

All those plans they had.

 “…returning to the Normandy after the paperwork went through. You are welcome to remain at C-Sec. I wanted to tell you before the news hit the media. Better me then some vid terminal.”

Garrus stood without a word. Turning, he walked back out of Pallin’s office. His name was called somewhere behind him but he couldn’t hear. He just kept walking. A hand grabbed his shoulder in the middle of the main hall, where workers and officers rushed by- he knew he should know their faces but in that moment he couldn’t remember.

“…going into shock.”

Shock? He only just realized he had been wobbling.

“Try to calm down.”

“Shepard’s DEAD!” The word echoed off the halls and a silence fell so thick in the academy you could almost feel it on your skin. “I quit.” That was all he said all the way to the med clinic.

 

_There she stood, triumphant as Sovereign burned. The spirit of their squad flaring to life and uniting them, burning from within Shepard. Garrus and Wrex stood just behind, cheering. Then it exploded. A giant chunk sped towards them. “GET DOWN!” She screamed. Fear blatant as she looked to Garrus. He’d never seen her look scared before now._

_Her face morphed like molten lava glowing red as she burned alive._

_The scream sounded more Reaper than human as she disappeared beyond a chunk of Sovereign._

“Shepard!” He sat up in bed with a start. As he realized where he was- medical facility, Citadel- he put a hand to his head. No, that wasn’t how it happened. But those ten minutes he thought she-

It hit him again that she was gone.

“Bad dream?” He looked up. Kaiden.

“Shit.” He laid back down.

“I was going to ask how you were holding up but… seems a bit redundant now.” Kaiden took a drink from a flask. “She was getting Joker out of the cockpit, couldn’t leave him behind. I knew I shouldn’t have let her go. I knew. But couldn’t let Joker go down with the ship. He was a brother to her. We all were. But she was more. So much-“ He hiccupped.

“You’re drunk.”

“Yeah. You missed them handing out her personal effects as outlined in her will.”

Garrus stared at the ceiling.

“Don’t you want to know what she left you?”

If Garrus were human he would have frowned. “She left me something?”

 “You are an idiot.” Kaiden handed him a small bag with “Garrus Vakarian” written in the top left hand corner. An OSD sat heavy in the clear plastic. “Left this. We all got one.”

Garrus took it, letting the OSD fall into his omnitool hand. It downloaded the information on the card and he swallowed.

“Watch it when I’m not here. I don’t think I can take another vid.”

Garrus looked at Kaiden. He was a wreck, but he wasn’t the one who’d let it get to him enough to end up in the med clinic. “What did yours say?”

Kaiden’s laughed, a broken sound that lacked mirth. “She was sorry, and to take care of myself.” Garrus figured his would be similar. Maybe something about staying on the straight and narrow. “Joker was a mess after his. He really blames himself but… we beat Sovereign and- she seemed invincible. Untouchable.”

“When I first met her, I liked that she shook things up. I liked how she did whatever it took to do what was right- to bring people to justice. She taught me how important it was to do things right, that protecting the innocent is as important as getting the bad guy, that I couldn’t let the job change who I am- that who I am is… is worth the effort. It wasn’t just me either. She was the spirit of our team. Without her… I think we’ll all scatter to the wind.”

“It’s because we loved her.”

Garrus felt a deep pang in his gut. The statement seemed to bounce off the walls, echoing through him like a shock from a biotic. “Yeah.”

“Some more than others.”

Garrus looked at Kaiden’s wrecked face- his expression an exposed nerve, so raw and _there_. “You and her-?“

“No, just me. She made that clear in her vid.” Kaiden stood on wobbly legs. “I’ll let you get to it then. Best to do it quick, like a band aid.”

Garrus’ mandibles clicked in confusion, “Like a what?”

“Never mind...” He patted Garrus’ shoulder. “Take care.” He stumbled a little toward the door. Garrus went to his recent downloads. There was a vid file and a lot of audio. Curious, he hit play.

Shepard popped up from this omnitool. Her short red hair fell in her face and she smiled. Blue eyes glowed in some light from off camera. Perfectly preserved how she was. A cut on her face told him this was just after they defeated Sovereign, maybe a week tops. “ _Hey, Garrus. If you’re watching this, then I’m dead and you’re not. After the fight with the Reaper I figured I could die at any time without being able to say goodbye so… I feel like I’ve known you my whole life. What with Saleon, Saren, Sovereign, and… everything. You once told me if there was anything more you could do, you would do it if I asked. Being by my side was enough- more than enough, seeing as I’m not the easiest person to follow.”_

Shepard let out a nervous laugh. The lines around her eyes crinkled like they should. Garrus’ hands clenched.

“ _The rest of the disk is old Earth music. I thought you’d like some of the original artists work rather than the turian covers you keep downloading. It covers nearly a hundred years of quality music. Take them and keep fighting. Know that I’m with you. You’re my best friend. You mean more to me than you could ever know._ ” Her eyes were suddenly sad, like she could see Garrus and the pitiful state he was in.

“ _That sounds needy and ridiculous I know but… There’s so much I want to say- need to say. I just don’t know how. But I’ll always be looking out for you, Vakarian. Very few people get guardian angels with shotguns. Play this vid whenever you’re low, or feeling friendless, or like you can’t keep going. Play it and know that I want you to keep going. The universe needs people like you.”_

It started into the first song. It sounded old and the quality was far from perfect. Something about the light crackle to the woman’s voice made it more real, tangible.

“ _Play the guitar. Play it again, my Johnny. Maybe you’re cold but you’re so warm inside. I was always a fool for my Johnny. For the one they call Johnny Guitar_.”

He would do it. Today he would mourn, but tomorrow he would get his head back in the game. Tomorrow, when the new day rose, he would follow in Shepard’s footsteps. He’d pave his way through every injustice he found, and he’d do it on his terms.

Instead of letting the song play, he rewound the message, all the while watching Shepard’s face. 


End file.
